Memories were thick as I walked the land at your grandparents today. Oh, Jaime, we spent so much time there when you were a little girl. Everywhere I looked I saw, felt, and mourned for you. There was your bridge...the joy you felt when Grandpa built it and made the engraved wooden sign with your name hanging by it; the garden...the way you helped Grandpa plant potatoes when you were about Marissa's age and he turned around to watch you follow behind him, throwing all the potatoes in the air like a juggler; the shed...the fun you had when Uncle Randy's dog had puppies; the tractors...how you loved to "drive" them with Grandpa. Oh, Jaime, you are so loved. Our love covered you as you grew; His love covers you now.
I wish I could hold you one more time...I want to hear you tease "You're choking me" when you hug me, I wish I could hear your voice saying "I love you, little Mama," I wish I could come across one of the notes you used to leave for me to find telling me how special I was and how much you loved me. I want to laugh with you and play around, saying dumb jokes no one else would get but us... I miss you.
Jesus really does cover me with His love, His comfort, His supernatural presence...and I am SO thankful. But I know He is allowing me to grieve right now. I know He understands and will get me through. Because even Jesus wept...and He's holding my tears in His scarred hands. I love you, Jaime. I love you, Jesus. Thank you for the time we had with her.
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